Clean Joke

 

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A Sunday school teacher was teaching on heaven to a class of  kindergarten aged students.  
 
She asked them, "Kids if I sell my house and my car, and  give all the money to the poor, do I get to go heaven?"
 
The children in unison replied, "No."
 
She asked them again, "What if I quit my job and spend all  my time helping orphans, then do I go to heaven?"
 
The children again replied "No."
 
The teacher then asked the children, "Okay, just how do I  get to heaven?"
 
Little Tommy in the back row slipped up his hand.
 
"Yes Tommy, how do I get to heaven?" the teacher asked.
 
He replied, "You gotta be dead first!

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Clean Joke

 

---

A Sunday school teacher was teaching on heaven to a class of  kindergarten aged students.  
 
She asked them, "Kids if I sell my house and my car, and  give all the money to the poor, do I get to go heaven?"
 
The children in unison replied, "No."
 
She asked them again, "What if I quit my job and spend all  my time helping orphans, then do I go to heaven?"
 
The children again replied "No."
 
The teacher then asked the children, "Okay, just how do I  get to heaven?"
 
Little Tommy in the back row slipped up his hand.
 
"Yes Tommy, how do I get to heaven?" the teacher asked.
 
He replied, "You gotta be dead first!

---

A Joke.

Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed
the scale in the corner.

"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one,
"don't step on it!"

"Why not?" asked the sibling.

"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!"

A Joke.

Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed
the scale in the corner.

"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one,
"don't step on it!"

"Why not?" asked the sibling.

"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!"

AAP KI YAADEN !

Samja do apni yado ko,
wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hai,
aap to dur rehkar satate ho magar,
wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai

Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,
dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga,
guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,
kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga

Nazroo se jab nazar ka takrar hota hai,
har mod par kissi ka intezaar hota hai,
dil rota hai zakham haste hai,
isi ka naam to pyaar hota hai

Unhone dekha aur aansu gir pade,
bhari basant mein jaise phool bikhar pade,
dukh woh nahin ki unhone hume alvida kaha,
dukh to yeh hai ki uske baad woh khud ro pade

Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai,
mann me har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai,
jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka,
es liye cell ko dil ke pass rakhte hai

AAP KI YAADEN !

Samja do apni yado ko,
wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hai,
aap to dur rehkar satate ho magar,
wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai

Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,
dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga,
guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,
kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga

Nazroo se jab nazar ka takrar hota hai,
har mod par kissi ka intezaar hota hai,
dil rota hai zakham haste hai,
isi ka naam to pyaar hota hai

Unhone dekha aur aansu gir pade,
bhari basant mein jaise phool bikhar pade,
dukh woh nahin ki unhone hume alvida kaha,
dukh to yeh hai ki uske baad woh khud ro pade

Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai,
mann me har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai,
jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka,
es liye cell ko dil ke pass rakhte hai

Shayari.

jiski ek smile par hai duniya fida..
jisse dil na hona chahe juda...
jiske style hai lajavaab..
woh aap nahi hum hain janaab.......

DIL KI KITAB KA PANNA CHURA LE GAYA KOI,
AKHON SE NIND UDA LEGAYA KOI,
KISI KI YAAD ME TADAPNE KI AADAT NAHI THI MUJE,
APNI YADON SE TADPANA SIKHA GAYA KOI

na moh or na maya hai ....aaalas bas tumhi ko aaya hai...do char panne palat lo beta .....paper pitaji ne nahi banaya hai.........???

lamha-lamha waqt gujar jayega ...
saat pheron ke saath koi tumse jud jayega ....
abhi bhi waqt hai kisi se kar lo affair ...
kal kya pata kaun sa item gale pad jayega ....


Raat ankho me dhaLi palkon par jugnu aye..
Hum hawao ki tarah jakar use chuh aye..
Usne chuh kar mujhe pathar se insan kiya..
Mudhaton baad meri ankho me ansu aye......

woh kehte hain majbur hain hum ...
na chahte hue bhi door hain hum ...
churali unhone hamari dhadkane
fir bhi kehte hain bekasoor hain hum.....

labo ki hasi tere naam kar denge,
har khushi tuj per kurban kar denge,
jis din hogi koi kami meri dosti me,
jindagi ko maut ke naam kar denge

sapne to sirf sapne hote hai,
apne to fir bhi apne hote hai,
tum chaho to sapno ko apna banana
magar apno ko kabhi sapna mat banana...!!!!

saanson me teri mil jau main ...
paas itna aa jau main...
mujhse door jane vale....
tumhe kaise bhool jau main...


hum vo nahi jo matlab se yaad karte hain,
hum vo hain jo dil se pyaar karte hain,
tumhara paigaam aaye na aaye,
par har ghadi tumhare sms ka intezaar karte hain...

yaro ki yari pe shak nahi karte,
jab hum bol rahe ho to bakbak nahi karte,
pareshaan karte ho jab hum so rahe hote hain,
ab hum jaag rahe hain to sms nahi karte....

khoobiyan itni to nahi hum mein,
ki kisi ke dil mein hum ghar bana payenge,
par bhulana bhi aasan nahi hoga humein,
aise pal zaroor sejayenge.....

dil ke rishte ka koi naam nahi hota,
har raste ka mukaam nai hota,
agar nibhane ki chahat ho dono taraf,
kasam se koi rishta nakaam nahi hota....

Kitni Jaldi Mulakat Gujar Jati Hai.
Payas Bujti Nahi Aur Barsat Gujar Jati Hai.
Apni Yadoon Se Keh Do Is Tarah Na Aya Kare Nind Aati Nahi Aur Rat Gujar Jati Hai.

wo kahte hai majbur hai hum,
naa chahte huye bhi dur hai hum,
chura li unhone dhadkane hamari,
phir bhi kahte hai bekasur hai hum.

abhi abhi wo muskurane lage hai,
har ashk se daman bachane lage hai,
ya khuda ye lamhe jaldi naa gujre,
yahan tak aane me jamane lage hai .

Mana aaj unhe hamara koi khayal nahi,
jawab dene ko hum razi he par koi sawal nahi,
pucho unke dil se kya hum unke yaar nahi,
kya hamse milne ko wo bekarar nahi

Shayari.

jiski ek smile par hai duniya fida..
jisse dil na hona chahe juda...
jiske style hai lajavaab..
woh aap nahi hum hain janaab.......

DIL KI KITAB KA PANNA CHURA LE GAYA KOI,
AKHON SE NIND UDA LEGAYA KOI,
KISI KI YAAD ME TADAPNE KI AADAT NAHI THI MUJE,
APNI YADON SE TADPANA SIKHA GAYA KOI

na moh or na maya hai ....aaalas bas tumhi ko aaya hai...do char panne palat lo beta .....paper pitaji ne nahi banaya hai.........???

lamha-lamha waqt gujar jayega ...
saat pheron ke saath koi tumse jud jayega ....
abhi bhi waqt hai kisi se kar lo affair ...
kal kya pata kaun sa item gale pad jayega ....


Raat ankho me dhaLi palkon par jugnu aye..
Hum hawao ki tarah jakar use chuh aye..
Usne chuh kar mujhe pathar se insan kiya..
Mudhaton baad meri ankho me ansu aye......

woh kehte hain majbur hain hum ...
na chahte hue bhi door hain hum ...
churali unhone hamari dhadkane
fir bhi kehte hain bekasoor hain hum.....

labo ki hasi tere naam kar denge,
har khushi tuj per kurban kar denge,
jis din hogi koi kami meri dosti me,
jindagi ko maut ke naam kar denge

sapne to sirf sapne hote hai,
apne to fir bhi apne hote hai,
tum chaho to sapno ko apna banana
magar apno ko kabhi sapna mat banana...!!!!

saanson me teri mil jau main ...
paas itna aa jau main...
mujhse door jane vale....
tumhe kaise bhool jau main...


hum vo nahi jo matlab se yaad karte hain,
hum vo hain jo dil se pyaar karte hain,
tumhara paigaam aaye na aaye,
par har ghadi tumhare sms ka intezaar karte hain...

yaro ki yari pe shak nahi karte,
jab hum bol rahe ho to bakbak nahi karte,
pareshaan karte ho jab hum so rahe hote hain,
ab hum jaag rahe hain to sms nahi karte....

khoobiyan itni to nahi hum mein,
ki kisi ke dil mein hum ghar bana payenge,
par bhulana bhi aasan nahi hoga humein,
aise pal zaroor sejayenge.....

dil ke rishte ka koi naam nahi hota,
har raste ka mukaam nai hota,
agar nibhane ki chahat ho dono taraf,
kasam se koi rishta nakaam nahi hota....

Kitni Jaldi Mulakat Gujar Jati Hai.
Payas Bujti Nahi Aur Barsat Gujar Jati Hai.
Apni Yadoon Se Keh Do Is Tarah Na Aya Kare Nind Aati Nahi Aur Rat Gujar Jati Hai.

wo kahte hai majbur hai hum,
naa chahte huye bhi dur hai hum,
chura li unhone dhadkane hamari,
phir bhi kahte hai bekasur hai hum.

abhi abhi wo muskurane lage hai,
har ashk se daman bachane lage hai,
ya khuda ye lamhe jaldi naa gujre,
yahan tak aane me jamane lage hai .

Mana aaj unhe hamara koi khayal nahi,
jawab dene ko hum razi he par koi sawal nahi,
pucho unke dil se kya hum unke yaar nahi,
kya hamse milne ko wo bekarar nahi

1.

१.    उडत्या पाखरांना परतीची तमा नसावी ,

      नजरेत सदा नवी दिशा असावी.

      घरट्यांचे काय आहे ? बांधता येईल केव्हाही ,

      क्षितिजाच्याही पलीकडे झेप घेण्याची जिद्द असावी.

 

२.   Thand hawa, dhagaal akash,

      dhukyat dongar ani maticha suwas....

      Garma-garam bhaji, kadak chaha, chimb bhijayla tayar raha.

      Pawsachya chimb Shubecha!

 

3.   Betwn a 1000 yestrdays & a million 2morows there is only 1 2day.& i wud nt let this friendship day pass without sayin"THANKS 4 BEING A LOVELY FRIEND" ,

 

4.   I opened an account 4 u at the Universal Bank of GOD's Blessings & deposited 365 days full of LOVE,FAITH,jOY & FULFILLMENT! Happy frndship's day !

 

5.    I pray to god to give all of you  Shanti Shakti    Sampati Saiyam   Saadgi Saralata  Samridhi Swaasth Sarswati Aur     Sneh.

 

6.   Pakistan ko sharafat sikha denge HINDUSTAN ki takat dikha denge sun le mushraf hum se panga mat lena warna kashmir me to kya lahore me tiranga lehara denge!!!!

 

7.   Breteesh destrayed avar kantry phor 150 ears. Late us destraay thare laanguvedge foryever..              Pharvard dhis 2 aal INDIANS.. JAI HIND...

 

8.   l Have a special breakfast for you: A glass of CARE, A plate of LOVE, A spoon of PEACE, A fork of TRUST, and A bowl of PRAYERS. Good mornin n Enjoy !

 

9.   Heated Gold becomes ornament,Beated Copper becomes wire,Depleted Stone becomes Statue n Tortured students become...........ENGINEERS!!

 

10.  Patni ne bade pyar se pati ke gale me bahe dali or puchha 'kaisa lag raha hai ji'.

      Pati: jaise bhagvan shankarji ke gale me nag lipta ho'.

 

11.   A Fantastic Quote:"Forgiving Terroristis left to GOD, But fixing their appointment with GOD is our Responsibility" -INDIAN          ARMY.Jay Hind.......

 

12.   4 years 40 subjects 400 practicals 4000 Lectures 40000 submissions 400000 rupees. A normal human cant do it. Abnormals        are called Engineers.

 

13.   Let Gajanan pour PROSPERITY, PEACE & HAPPINESS with his 3 hands & keep all evil spirits away from you with his 4th hand. GANPATI BAPPA MORYA. 

 

14.  Bappa tumhala tyanchya pota evdha vishal anand, sonde evdhe dirgh ayushya, mushaka itki choti dukkhe Anhi priy modaka itke god kshan deo. Njoy Ganesh Festival.

 

15.  Kal agar mein mar bhi jau, e dost mere marne ka gum na karna, aasoon bhi na bahana, Meri earthi bhi na uthana, sidhe upar chale aana...party karenge.

1.

१.    उडत्या पाखरांना परतीची तमा नसावी ,

      नजरेत सदा नवी दिशा असावी.

      घरट्यांचे काय आहे ? बांधता येईल केव्हाही ,

      क्षितिजाच्याही पलीकडे झेप घेण्याची जिद्द असावी.

 

२.   Thand hawa, dhagaal akash,

      dhukyat dongar ani maticha suwas....

      Garma-garam bhaji, kadak chaha, chimb bhijayla tayar raha.

      Pawsachya chimb Shubecha!

 

3.   Betwn a 1000 yestrdays & a million 2morows there is only 1 2day.& i wud nt let this friendship day pass without sayin"THANKS 4 BEING A LOVELY FRIEND" ,

 

4.   I opened an account 4 u at the Universal Bank of GOD's Blessings & deposited 365 days full of LOVE,FAITH,jOY & FULFILLMENT! Happy frndship's day !

 

5.    I pray to god to give all of you  Shanti Shakti    Sampati Saiyam   Saadgi Saralata  Samridhi Swaasth Sarswati Aur     Sneh.

 

6.   Pakistan ko sharafat sikha denge HINDUSTAN ki takat dikha denge sun le mushraf hum se panga mat lena warna kashmir me to kya lahore me tiranga lehara denge!!!!

 

7.   Breteesh destrayed avar kantry phor 150 ears. Late us destraay thare laanguvedge foryever..              Pharvard dhis 2 aal INDIANS.. JAI HIND...

 

8.   l Have a special breakfast for you: A glass of CARE, A plate of LOVE, A spoon of PEACE, A fork of TRUST, and A bowl of PRAYERS. Good mornin n Enjoy !

 

9.   Heated Gold becomes ornament,Beated Copper becomes wire,Depleted Stone becomes Statue n Tortured students become...........ENGINEERS!!

 

10.  Patni ne bade pyar se pati ke gale me bahe dali or puchha 'kaisa lag raha hai ji'.

      Pati: jaise bhagvan shankarji ke gale me nag lipta ho'.

 

11.   A Fantastic Quote:"Forgiving Terroristis left to GOD, But fixing their appointment with GOD is our Responsibility" -INDIAN          ARMY.Jay Hind.......

 

12.   4 years 40 subjects 400 practicals 4000 Lectures 40000 submissions 400000 rupees. A normal human cant do it. Abnormals        are called Engineers.

 

13.   Let Gajanan pour PROSPERITY, PEACE & HAPPINESS with his 3 hands & keep all evil spirits away from you with his 4th hand. GANPATI BAPPA MORYA. 

 

14.  Bappa tumhala tyanchya pota evdha vishal anand, sonde evdhe dirgh ayushya, mushaka itki choti dukkhe Anhi priy modaka itke god kshan deo. Njoy Ganesh Festival.

 

15.  Kal agar mein mar bhi jau, e dost mere marne ka gum na karna, aasoon bhi na bahana, Meri earthi bhi na uthana, sidhe upar chale aana...party karenge.